so, this is a text post

i like to keep a pretty simple blog
i don’t like to post a lot of personal memoirs on here 
i mostly use it to express my appreciation for art, humor, fan bases, etc.
but every now and then i like to get my thoughts out of my head
and often the best way to do that is to write them all down.
personal or no; you can read or not. im quite truthfully too lazy
to invest in another personal writing blog or to go post on my old Xanga (wowee that’s taking it back ain’t it? haha)

so what i’m writing about…
well i was just thinking lately about my last relationship and…well how odd it was. just one of those odd occurrences that i never would’ve saw coming a couple years ago, ya know?

well i met him online for one… that’s weird. that’s just…the 21st century norm now or what? i guess i was just morbidly curious, or bored…or both. but it started out as fun, but then i actually found that i could find some decent people online haha but let me be real…it was pretty shallow. i really liked getting all the attention! literally hundred of men messaging me, trying to contact me…it was a real self esteem-booster. so that was something positive i got out of it…i also got confidence going into my future relationship(s)… like, i went on a blind date haha i mean i knew what he looked like but i had never met hi before and that was nerve-wracking! but i did it… i went on multiple dates after that…. like shit it was awkward at times but it was fun!! and i drove an hour away to a city i had never been to, to a house of a guy i had only known for a month or two… i did that. i stayed in his room with him and he even spent the night once! ahh that was funny haha that was weird though… like trying to sleep with another person beside you. that was the lightest sleep of my life haha and i woke up and had morning hair, and probably breath haha and makeup from the day before and clothes…and haha it was different… and it was a long distance relationship and that was hard… and it was a relationship based on well the intent of starting a relationship… don’t get me wrong he wanted to build a friendship but it was hard… to do that AND be in a relationship… idk. like i learned that online dating is really not for me… at least not now. i mean, i’d rather build a friendship that then turns into a relationship so that we could have that base. but it was nice not having any confusion on either one of our parts i guess. like we both knew each other wanted a serious relationship there was no blurred lines in that sense which was a nice change. and he was really cute. like…. i was so attracted to him physically haha he reminded me of Jake Gyllenhal. and he was very fit and cuddly and all that. cuddling with him was very nice. it was funny when he would twitch in his sleep…man he could fall asleep fast! haha one minute he was up and the next he’d be gone lol but anyway… yeah i was just thinking about the weirdness of my life for the past… five months or so.. like i didn’t see that coming for miles. lol i dont regret it and im glad it happened. i hope him the best… he’s really smart and he’ll be starting this new chapter in his life that im sure will be really good for him. so yeah there was good, and there were things that caused doubt. i won’t go into them but it was just some personal preferences that i didn’t see him changing really… 

anyway…what else is there to spew out about?? what can i get off my chest at 2am?? writing is nice because its such a free way to decompress… 

i need a haircut…. and a workout routine… haha But first, new shoes!! that’s my excuse… lol

i will be very happy when school is out but what’s new.

i hope to learn how to crochet so i can make some mothaeffing grandma blankets for some peeps! lol ok i think im done for now…. enough rambling and mindless blather!

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I have been watching Lord of the Rings since 6:30am. I don’t know what year it is. I have forgotten the taste of bread, the sound of trees, the softness of the wind. I’ve even forgotten my own name

(via fuckingfeanor)

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